Friday, January 7, 2011

A Word to Those Who Gossip...

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to dedicate 5 hours to reading each week. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I spent most of my days reading and exploring the world of books. Since then, my reading has diminished, and I'm constantly blaming it on having "no time." The thing I've come to realize though is that if I'm going to read and have a relationship with books, I'm going to have to make the time, because for the next 18+ years time is not just going to present itself.

Anyways... so I'm currently reading The Happiness Project by Gretchin Rubin. It's been a bed-side staple of mine for about 8 months now that has just brought me so much inspiration in all aspects of my life. (Full review coming soon...)

One of the things that Rubin discussed in her chapter about focusing on friendship was that we should avoid gossip. Well, that's a given. From experience, gossip rarely does any good, but we are all guilty of it. We're all eager to hear who said what about who and who is doing what and oh did you hear that about so and so?

More subconsciously, I bet you can also find yourself creating gossip without even thinking about it. I remember leaving a party with my husband and stating, about the host, "Wow, she's really ornery when she doesn't have things perfectly her way." Why I said it - because it's normal to say what's on your mind and that's what I was thinking. But... it wasn't nice to say. This is the type of gossip that should be avoided at all costs because it's just the thing that can backfire in your face.

The term for it is Spontaneous Trait Transference. Basically it's this. When you say something about someone else, the person you're telling automatically associates the traits you're talking about with you. For example, if you tell your friend that "Susie is so high maintenance" your friend will spontaneously begin to associate being high maintenance with you.

Word to the wise, if you're going to gossip - only say nice things so that those positive traits are associated with you. :)

A little bit of nap time wisdom. Have a fabulous weekend!

4 comments:

  1. What a smart reminder, thanks Holly!

    Have a great weekend!

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  3. Thanks for stopping by Does This Baby Make Me Look Fat! I'm am now following you!

    Reading more was my 2010 new year's resolution and I'm sad to say I didn't do a great job and it's back on the list of my resolutions for this year.

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  4. Great post Holly. It's always a good reminder.

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